What's It Like?

From Jay:


Sarah with AT blazes

Many accounts of AT thru-hikes tend to focus on highlights such as trail magic, special people met, beautiful vistas, etc. It is easy for the reader to forget that the highlights are only 1% of the thru-hike experience, and they are separated by the other 99% - half of which is trudging and half of which is trying to sleep when you are too tired and sore to relax. Some may argue that there is the time spent relaxing, eating, and socializing in camp. I retort that the real thru-hiker has no time for those activities. They walk when it is light enough and sleep when it's dark. The hikers carrying too much weight to remain on their feet 10-12 hours/day rarely complete a thru-hike on the AT in a single hiking season, and would certainly fail on the PCT or CDT.



I mention this because most of the people I met on my first leg through Georgia seemed to expect to complete a thru-hike even though they were carrying >45 lbs., were overweight, had not trained, and expected to spend a significant amount of time in camp. Of course I tended only to meet slower people who started before me. The ones traveling as fast or faster than me remained ahead of me unless they took an extended break. Most of the people I met seemed to consider the distance from one shelter to the next sufficient for a day's travel. Considering there are over 250 shelters, that notion doesn't seem to hold water, especially if you add a night or two for each of the towns near the trail.

The 200 mile mark south to north, near Newfound Gap

So I contend that the genuine thru-hiker spends half their time walking and half their time trying to sleep. Therefore, to give you a feel for what thru-hiking is like, I will focus on the walking part.


If you are considering a northbound thru-hike of the AT beginning in early April, here is a way you can simulate the first week without the expense of leaving home: First, clear out a room in your house. Next cover the floor with about six inches of dry brown leaves. Paint the walls with a series of zigzags - like a ridge beyond which is another ridge - until there are 4 or 5 layers of ridges varying from brown to grey the farther away they are. Top it with a hazy blue-white sky. This will simulate the view from the AT in northern Georgia.... Pretty, but with no distinguishing landmarks by which to orient yourself or gauge your progress.

One of many beautiful views in NC

Next, add a bunch of grey poles running from floor to ceiling. Maybe you could get some old telephone poles, cut them, and stand them up throughout the room so they're randomly distributed, on average about 6 feet from each other. This will simulate the trees, whose branches are so high you rarely look at them since you have to watch the trail while you're moving.

Next, release a couple dozen squirrels in the room. If you don't have access to squirrels perhaps you could substitute guinea pigs. But they need to be very active; you'll probably need to add a strong caffeine source to their water dishes. This will simulate the predominant sound one hears on the AT in northern Georgia as multitudes of hyperactive squirrels constantly perform spectacular athletic feats - bursting from under the leaves and carrying nuts and acorns up the trees.

Next add a heat lamp, a powerful fan, and a cold shower. Direct them at a centrally located treadmill, and put them each on a timer. The heat lamp should alternate with the cold shower at a ratio of 6 to 1, with the average duration at about 24 hours. The fan should turn on randomly for 2 minute durations every 10 or so minutes when the heat lamp is on. It should be set to operate continuously when the shower turns on.

Sarah heading uphill

The treadmill should switch randomly between uphill and downhill at durations averaging 20 minutes. Next employ a couple of 2-year-olds to sit by the treadmill. Their job is to cast things like Lincoln logs, legos, and rocks onto the tread so you can dodge them as you walk. Please check your state's child labor laws first.

Now it's time to strap on a heavy pack and start walking. If you can keep it up for 8-10 hours a day for a few days, you will understand why so many people quit during the first leg of the AT.

A nice final touch to your trail simulator would be to leave your front door open and place a sign by it stating "FREE SHOW" and "PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS." This will simulate the non-thru-hiker you will meet at or near trailheads who will look at you with puzzled expressions and ask, "What are you doing?" and even worse, "Why??"